Just a Joke
by ThePuppeteer'sAuthor
Summary: Spidey presents his hilariously, awesome "prank" on Deadpool. In one of the most totally NOT Ultimate Spider-Man ways.


**YOOOOO! I live u! Anyways, just to show that I ain't dead, I got this little one-shot of Peter Parker Strucker and his deadly mercenary anti-friend. Peter shows Deadpool another side of himself the guy's never seen before. Takes place in the Home hydra AU.**

 **Just a Joke**

 **Peter POV:**

"So DP, how's the unaliving thing going?"

"Fine, fine. Got a few rich snobs in the head."

"What am I gonna do with you Deadpool…"

Deadpool and I sat at the edge of the building, legs hanging over the edge. It wasn't uncommon for this to happen when DP came over. One could consider it a routine thing lately. DP would pop out of nowhere and annoy me until I kicked his butt off the building… then we would go and get food, him sloppily devouring an overloaded taco and me quietly munching on a hotdog from Stan's hotdog stand. I knew it was wrong being around the guy in the first place, but he was a fun guy to hang out with. In fact, I had to blackmail my dad into allowing me to hang out with Deadpool.

I liked his cheerful attitude and despite his what I would call most "undesirable" career, I didn't mind him. Surprisingly, while around me, Deadpool was much less violent and I'd never seen him "unalive" anyone. Maybe it was something about my presence, I don't really know, that caused him to act that way; but I wasn't complaining. Now as I turned to look at his now completely masked face, I recalled the many times we met and just how we came to this mutual relationship.

 **Deadpool POV:**

He was staring again. It was a thing he did, the shiny lens over his suit reflecting my image like a silvery mirror. I smirked at him and he quickly averted his attention from me. Slowly, my hands down only to find empty holsters attached to my belt. A wave of shock went through my mind and I looked around until my eyes laid their attention upon a certain Spider standing a few feet away from me. He was leaning against the brick wall twirling two "rather" important objects in his gloved hands. His hands stopped with the guns aimed to the sky and a finger on each trigger.

"Looking for these?" he said as he clicked the safety triggers off. "Willing to bet on it?"

I tilted my head in confusion, "Bet? On what?"

He shrugged and slowly stepped right until we were standing in an angle face-to-face. Suddenly he whipped the right gun down to point straight at me. Spider-Man, the hero who stuck to his peaceful morals than any other was now pointing my own Desert Eagle with no safety trigger on. Well… this was new…

"Wanna' bet I won't pull this trigger right now?" he seemed to be mocking me, his finger already pressed half-way on the trigger.

"Umm… I bet that you… Won't?"

 **BAM**

My eyes opened and I inhaled a second of faint smoke through my mask. The gun was smoking and now an inch away from my head. One push of his finger against metal and I would be on the ground with a fucking hole through my forehead. There was a light click. I opened one eye of my tightly squeezed eyes to peak at the source. Silver lowered to the reveal the unveiled face of the oh so Ultimate Spider-Man. There was a laugh. A light, innocent laugh. Of all the possible things around, the oddly innocent noise came from the very person who could have unalived him temporarily. He was covering his mouth to muffle his laughter.

"You should've seen your face!" the teen said between his laughs, "All terrified and stuff, I'm a great prankster, eh?!"

"A prank?" I muttered under my breath and met his eyes when the teen calmed down.

The teenager held the guns back. "Here, these are yours after all, though I wouldn't mind keeping them if you would allow me to."

My eyes widened as I snatched the arms back from his hands. "U-Umm…"

"I'm sure you already know who I am, but I guess you never really knew my actual heritage" a hand went to scratch the back of his neck; probably a bad habit, "My full name's Peter Strucker, but please, call me Peter; Peter Parker."

"EHHHHHHHHH?"

"Nice to meet you… again!"

Everything was spinning and I fell over, then everything went black.

 **Peter POV:**

"Oh… Was it that much of shock?" I leaned down to look at the unconscious man. Oh well… Maybe I could steal one of those shiny swords on his bag. I wonder what they're made of? I grabbed a katana and swiped some dried blood off.

"Ahh, sweet payback… That's what you get for nearly getting me caught by my team, Agent Mcguffin my butt!"

I stabbed the katana into one of his hands and webbed his other hand to the ground. Stepping back, I checked for any flaws and then jumped off the building before glancing back to see a now conscious Deadpool. Being stabbed in the hand is probably a bit of a shock coming from someone he knows as Peter Parker, the goody two-shoes Spider-Man. How in the world does he NOT know that I'm a Strucker?! I swung away without another glance. He'd figure it out later, maybe then he could be friends with me… as Peter Strucker of course, Parker is quite annoying after you've been saying it for the entirety of your life...

 **Yeah yeah, I know, a bit jumbled around, but I'm practically an amateur. Yup I admit it. But if you're wondering, why would Spidey actually harm someone (dude he stabbed Deadpool's hand with a katana…) and use that kinda humor on even an "innocent" bystander? Well he may be a goody two-shoes most of the time, but he's still a biological Strucker and his mother is a rather… unique scientist when it comes to her true personality, so what do you expect? The only question is, why is he the only good guy in the family?**


End file.
